Grass up around me ass!

Just had my car mechanic here to look at my ride-on mower.

For weeks now I have been trying to get the mower started but to no avail. A new spark plug is always the first thing I change. Still wouldn’t start so I took the carburettor off the machine and checked it out – nothing was wrong that I could see but then I am no mechanic.

Went to see the man and asked him what it could be. He said I should have brought the carbie down so he could check it out. I said I would go back home, uncouple it and bring it down next time I pass.

When I went to get it the next day he said that he had cleaned it and checked it out and found nothing wrong.

Back home I reassembled it all and gave the rope a few pulls – not a twitter from the engine. On the phone, “Can somebody come up and have a look at it please?”

The boss said someone might be free on Monday.

I went for my lunchtime siesta and was wakened by the Mrs telling me he had arrived.

I dressed and went down to see him. He was just about to pull the rope when I arrived.

It started first or second pull!

So what was wrong with the damn thing?

Apparently the spark plug was defective. But I had only just bought that one! He said he had put another in because the one I had was only sparking intermittently. But I said, “It’s brand new!”

He said, “We are beginning to see this all the time these days. The plugs are pathetic! Imagine rebuilding a car engine, putting new plugs in and then finding that one of them is misfiring. It’s happening all the time!”

I was completely gobsmacked! What are we, the uninformed, the useless mechanics supposed to do?